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- Our magical Christ Rug.
- Paris Hilton goes to prison.
- Treehuggers destroy San Francisco bridge in awesome explosion.
- Endurance school out-endures man.
- Listener correspondence: Three new towns becomes enshrined in Gobbler's Knob.
- Days of Our AOL: User #2281868. Just remember, he could be someone you know.
- Media of the Week: They Might Be Giants' <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t16z49r5dvk">"Alphabet of Nations"</a>

- Welcome back, Brett Favre.
- Nerdy RSS stuff.
- Underarms become sexy.
- It's time for Richard Gere to go to prison.
- Demographers Want To Know: What we think about a crappy tv pilot.
- The Secret.
- Cat scratch fever!
- Listener correspondence: The World's 50 Best Restaurants, Heston Blumenthal's Seafood Experience!, the MI numbers, the origin of police nicknames.
- Celebrity birthdays. Free Jack Klugman!
- Media of the Week: Googling river dolphins, NetVibes.

- We are normal.
- Scott Stevens' weather conspiracy site WeatherWars.info.
- The HuMarists are our friends?
- Spending Earth Day in an idling car.
- More weird holidays like Stillbirth Remembrance Day.
- Movie review: Hot Fuzz.
- Listener correspondence: More Gobbler's Knob - Great Towns To Lick and Pee On. Where does James Bond work?
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Mini Food Review: Sugar Free Peeps.
- A rough sketch of a borscht recipe.
- MC Miker G & DJ Sven's "Holiday Rap." Check out their biography.

Today on Better Writing, we take a look at writing samples from two listeners. Cho Seung-Hui sends in a manifesto to proofread, and Emily sends us a very secret love letter!

Cho gets a B- and Emily gets a B+. Thanks for sending in your submissions, guys!

- Wet snow and no sushi.
- Parade's What People Make.
- Days Of Our AOL: 5342598
- Celebrity Birthdays.
- Media of the Week: Musicovery.

- Why aren't stores open on Easter?
- Microwaved Peeps become Akira.
- Did we steal from the church?
- Movie review: Grindhouse.
- A late-night window knocker.
- Listener correspondence: Vanilla Coke and peeing in buckets.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Media of the Week: Running songs - Joe Jackson's "Steppin' Out" and Ben Folds' "Rent A Cop."

- School funding, the podcast battle.
- Late-night bakery runs.
- Otis the Bunny's birthday.
- Listener correspondence: More GobKnob. Life expectancies. The economics of wheat gluten.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Movie reviews: Blades of Glory and Casino Royale.
- Reviews of New Food: Diet Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream.
- Media of the Week: Acceptable TV's Conference Call.

Shorter show today!

- Albany's St. Patrick's Day parade.
- People who hate France are maniacs.
- Media of the Week: The Ultimate Warrior is Insane. Warrior's conservative speech. Podcast Rosemary Goes To The Mall.
- The ramification of banning horse slaughter? Too many horses.
- MC Face's "Slaughter Ya Oughta"

- Building Sims families.
- Anatrim spam.
- Listener correspondence: Zebulon's newest entry in GobKnob. Caitlin's entry into the Turner Prize. The K Foundation Prize. Scoville units.  
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Chiquita banana funds Columbian terrorists.