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- Our magical Christ Rug.
- Paris Hilton goes to prison.
- Treehuggers destroy San Francisco bridge in awesome explosion.
- Endurance school out-endures man.
- Listener correspondence: Three new towns becomes enshrined in Gobbler's Knob.
- Days of Our AOL: User #2281868. Just remember, he could be someone you know.
- Media of the Week: They Might Be Giants' <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t16z49r5dvk">"Alphabet of Nations"</a>

- Welcome back, Brett Favre.
- Nerdy RSS stuff.
- Underarms become sexy.
- It's time for Richard Gere to go to prison.
- Demographers Want To Know: What we think about a crappy tv pilot.
- The Secret.
- Cat scratch fever!
- Listener correspondence: The World's 50 Best Restaurants, Heston Blumenthal's Seafood Experience!, the MI numbers, the origin of police nicknames.
- Celebrity birthdays. Free Jack Klugman!
- Media of the Week: Googling river dolphins, NetVibes.

- We are normal.
- Scott Stevens' weather conspiracy site WeatherWars.info.
- The HuMarists are our friends?
- Spending Earth Day in an idling car.
- More weird holidays like Stillbirth Remembrance Day.
- Movie review: Hot Fuzz.
- Listener correspondence: More Gobbler's Knob - Great Towns To Lick and Pee On. Where does James Bond work?
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Mini Food Review: Sugar Free Peeps.
- A rough sketch of a borscht recipe.
- MC Miker G & DJ Sven's "Holiday Rap." Check out their biography.

Today on Better Writing, we take a look at writing samples from two listeners. Cho Seung-Hui sends in a manifesto to proofread, and Emily sends us a very secret love letter!

Cho gets a B- and Emily gets a B+. Thanks for sending in your submissions, guys!

- Wet snow and no sushi.
- Parade's What People Make.
- Days Of Our AOL: 5342598
- Celebrity Birthdays.
- Media of the Week: Musicovery.

- Why aren't stores open on Easter?
- Microwaved Peeps become Akira.
- Did we steal from the church?
- Movie review: Grindhouse.
- A late-night window knocker.
- Listener correspondence: Vanilla Coke and peeing in buckets.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Media of the Week: Running songs - Joe Jackson's "Steppin' Out" and Ben Folds' "Rent A Cop."

- School funding, the podcast battle.
- Late-night bakery runs.
- Otis the Bunny's birthday.
- Listener correspondence: More GobKnob. Life expectancies. The economics of wheat gluten.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Movie reviews: Blades of Glory and Casino Royale.
- Reviews of New Food: Diet Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream.
- Media of the Week: Acceptable TV's Conference Call.

Shorter show today!

- Albany's St. Patrick's Day parade.
- People who hate France are maniacs.
- Media of the Week: The Ultimate Warrior is Insane. Warrior's conservative speech. Podcast Rosemary Goes To The Mall.
- The ramification of banning horse slaughter? Too many horses.
- MC Face's "Slaughter Ya Oughta"

- Building Sims families.
- Anatrim spam.
- Listener correspondence: Zebulon's newest entry in GobKnob. Caitlin's entry into the Turner Prize. The K Foundation Prize. Scoville units.  
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Chiquita banana funds Columbian terrorists.

Visit our new website at RadioFreeMarist.com!

- Snow and Sims.
- Who buys DVDs?
- Polish food and The Pipettes in Brooklyn.
- Treasure hunting (Hunting for treasure).
- Listener correspondence: More Gobbler's Knob. Train annoyances. Eye-searingly hot foods. Al's bad food memory. The Definitive 200. Singing in Simmlish.
- Celebrity birthdays.

- Idiocracy and Off The Charts.
- Song poems.
- Topics From A Hat: Bad food memories of cooking or eating. Pop Qwiz popcorn. Lunch with Tom Green or Jim Carrey? What famous piece of art would you own?
- "Non-Violent Taekwondo Troopers" by David Fox.

- We can't see out of the studio.
- Valentine's Day gift props.
- Listener correspondence: Christianity Is Stupid. Flying Spaghetti Monster, Universal Life Church, Subgenius. A special rebranded towns version of GobKnob.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Reviews of New Food: Bok Choy.
- Caitlin Rants: Design Within Reach.

- Pronouncing Ethifimous Zissifmapolous.
- Al Sharpton and Strom Thurmond make a Slavery Connection(tm)!
- Listener Correspondence: We continue our game of GobKnob with Zebulon and attempt to discuss the United States' immigration woes.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Demographers Want To Know: Whether you've thrown out your sample shampoo yet.
- Media of The Week: Superhero stamps, and the Center for Science in the Public Interest's list of X-treme eating.

- For Better or For Worse, Cathy, Get Fuzzy, Zits, The Family Circus, Ziggy, One Big Happy, Shoe.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- The Far Side vs. Close To Home, Boondocks, newspaper to television conversions, altered Garfield strips,
- Media of the Week: Netflix - Watch Now

- George Washington doesn't have his own day.
- To Jana from BYU: We hope everything comes out okay.
- Caitlin demonstrates how to be mean to telemarketers and Jesus freaks.
- Britney Spears gets driven "Craaaaaaazee!"
- Listener correspondence: More of Gobbler's Knob. Marist College radio's weird rotation CD library.
- Movie reviews of Akeelah and the Bee, and Pan's Labyrinth.
- Celebrity Birthdays.
- Media of the Week: The tearjerkiest moments list.

Recording down in our bunker in preparation for the Big Snowstorm of 2007, it's time to...<BR><BR>

- Ask for your favorite and least favorite comics strips.<BR>
- The high school Battle of the Bands, and a fond memory of talent shows past.<BR>
- Listener correspondence: Zebulon plays a game of "Gobbler's Knob."<BR>
- Presidential dollar coin surveys.<BR>
- An astronaut is charged with kidnapping in love triangle with shuttle pilot.<BR>
- We freestyle on the woman who loves Barbaro.<BR>
- <a href="http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=562731&category=SPORTS&BCCode=HOME&newsdate=2/13/2007">The Bible Vs. Co-Ed Wrestling</a> at Loudonville Christian.<BR>
- Reviews of New Food: <a href="http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/entertainment/columnists/rick_nichols/15962466.htm">Vermont</a> <a href="http://www.hackwriters.com/curryfarmin.htm">Curry</a> (from <a href="http://www.house-foods.com/our_products/imported_products.html">House Foods</a>)<BR>
- Don't hate on Valentine's Day.<BR>
- Celebrity birthdays.<BR>
- Media of the Week: The HowDoYouDo's perform <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=YT5e-kiQsHg">"Big Balls,"</a> and the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=7LAZgcC3jgo">"Sloths"</a> video from SNL.<BR>

- Harry Potter does a strip tease and fucks two guys in a horse costume.
- Egypt objects to The New 7 Wonders contest.
- Celebrity birthdays. (Rick Astley is actually 41. Thurl Ravenscroft is dead)
- A game of mistaken presidents.
- Marco Evaristti fries his own fat.
- A high-minded discussion of art.
- Media of the Week: Aqua Teen Hunger Force bomb scare press conference.
- A few good Super Bowl ads and one really bad one.


Send your favorite/least favorite comics. Now go watch <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=m8d2xDy5Wuw">The Puppy Bowl!</a>

Recording live in our new studio, The Desk, with two, yes two microphones.

- Punxatawney Phil and his lesser weather-predicting groundhog buddies.
- Yes, American Idol contestants are retarded.
- Listener correspondence: Cruises are floating college cafeterias, and myths about the Welsh
- Celebrity birthdays.
- The Cooper Hewitt Design Triennial + The Books in NYC.
- The Books' "Enjoy Your Worries, You May Never Have Them Again"

One super-long episode for this week!

- Talkin' 'bout living in a post-water society, the weather, Blik, and American Idol.
- Are American Idol contestants retarded?
- Listener correspondence: More pipe snakes, hold your wee for a Wii, stupid radio contest ideas, robots that build houses, and bagpiping.
- Are the Welsh the _______ of Great Britain?
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Reviews of New Food: Omaha Steaks.
- An article on young cooks leads us to reminisce about the Marist cafeteria for far too long.
- Media of the Week: Bruce Campbell's leading role in an Old Spice commercial and Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell.

- <a href="http://www.seasonshot.com/">Season shot</a>.
- What's wrong with this sentence: "Meanwhile in Cube, Cindy Sheahan marched with a mother of a Guantanamo prisoner, a New York firefighter killed on 9/11, and others to demand that the camp be closed." (The correct sentence can be found <a href="http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/jan/12/protesters_demand_us_close_guantanamo_prison/">here</a>)
- A Shmacky Tuna recipe.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Demographers Want To Know: What Ryan's been drinking, how much, where, and from what containers. Also, staplers.
- Evelyn Allen tells us how napkins kill.
- Media of the Week: <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=h_6Ka8in35c">Adventures of Ricardo</a> and <a href="http://www.willitblend.com/">Will It Blend?</a>

Another new theme song attempt. "We Are The Red Cavalry."

- Vintage clothing is ruined by the collars.
- Love Me, Love My Doll, the Real Doll documentary. (Thanks, Bobs' Yer Uncle)
- Listener correspondence: Drain snakes, Kenny Loggins, Over The Top: The Restaurant, Tigger, Slashfood, Jamie Oliver, and pound cake.
- The weatherman needs a new job in Caitlin's office.
- Celebrity birthdays.

New theme music? The Spinto Band's "Cool Week."

- Dick Clark shouldn't have shown up for his rockin' New Year's Eve this year.
- Caitlin's ideal superpower: Stats Woman.
- We missed Gov. Spitzer's Day One sprint.
- Listener correspondence.

- Audacity sponsored Intermission.

- Listener correspondence.
- Celebrity birthdays. Today, Kenny Loggins goes to the Birthday Zone.
- Millard Fillmore: Our first Dumb Guy president.
- Movie reviews: Broken Flowers and Children of Men.
- Media of the Week: Aleksey Vayner's video resume, Michael Cera's parody, and The Pipettes' "We Are The Pipettes."

- Favre's Favorite Falafels.
- Dumb baby names.
- Celebrity birthdays, and the history of Braille.
- And we discuss a lot of movies from 2006, many you should see, and a few you need to avoid. We're looking at you, <i>Me, You, And Everyone We Know</i>.
- The Essex Green's "This Isn't Farmlife"

- New theme music: Sufjan Stevens - "Inaugral Pop Music For Jane Margaret Byrne."
- The true meaning of Christmas is making money. We talk about our gifts.
- Gerald Ford picks a bad time to die, negating any positive feelings I might have had about him.
- Christmas traditions.
- Mystery <a href="http://www.themysteryhole.com/">holes</a>, spots, and houses. (<a href="http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Basics/sounds_from_hell.htm">Sounds from Hell</A>)
- More thongs, and cloned meat and milk.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Media of the Week: An old <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-89770458144460734&q=dana+carvey+ford">Dana Carvey Show skit</a> about Gerald Ford dying.

Thanks to Audacity not agreeing with the new computer, we got to do today's show twice!

- The best unknown restaurant around got closed.
- Listener correspondence: Kids beating up Disney characters, animals chewing on wires, and what's worse than tighty whiteys? Thongs.
- The annual telling of this Christmas Thong Joke.
- Celebrity birthdays.
- Spam comments on the webpage
- Reviews of New Food: Pavlova.
- Early Movie Review of <i>A Night At The Museum.</i>
- Media of the Week: <a href="http://www.slashfood.com">Slashfood.com</a> and <a href="http://www.crazyguyonabike.com">CrazyGuyOnaBike.com</a> bike touring stories. (especially <a href="http://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/page/?o=lt&page_id=30592&v=12s">Bob & Susanne Jordan's journal</a>)

Another new theme song, a discussion about Hard Rock Cafe getting bought by the Seminole tribe, what happened to all those <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theme_restaurant">theme restaurants</a>,  the society scene in the newspaper, and a new <i>Days Of Our AOL.</i>

It's our quarter century mark! So it's time for...

- A spam email reading, yet another new theme song, our Christmas tree chopping story, a discussion of new movies that somehow devolves into underwear types, listener correspodence, a discussion of cruises which somehow devolves into embarrassing childhood dancing stories, celebrity birthdays, the sad story of <a href="http://news.com.com/2009-12-6141617.html?tag=cnetfd.ld1">James Kim</a>, trans fat getting banned in NYC, Andy Rooney's ranking of old people foods, and mini-reviews of For Your Consideration and Monster House.

After another possible Soccergirl sighting, we talk about...

- Screaming mimes in Hudson.
- <a href="http://observer.guardian.co.uk/foodmonthly/story/0,9950,1145616,00.html">Heston Blumenthal</a>, Perfectionist Cook.
- A good fall squash recipe.
- Presidential dollar coins.
- What do kids want for Christmas?
- Media of the Week: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/JL421-Badonkadonk-Land-Cruiser-Tank/dp/B00067F1CE">JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser / Tank</a>.

Coming down from our sicknesses, it's time for...<BR><BR>


- Another new theme song.<BR>
- Our Black Friday adventure.<BR>
- Listener correspondence: <a href="http://www.archive.org/details/ShakeHan1970">Shake Hands With Danger</a>, where do we come from, and more on chavs.<BR>
- We rip apart the organic food movement while simultaneously embracing it.<BR>
- Celebrity birthdays.<BR>
- A new segment: Demographers Want To Know. Today, they want to know who Caitlin wants to kiss.<BR>
- A new closing song, Dorothy Collins' "It's A Magnet, reprise"<BR>